


Stay

by Mindovermatter



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Confident Alec Lightwood, Declarations Of Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fear of Death, Fights, Fluff and Angst, Heartfelt Conversation, Immortality, Immortality Issues (Shadowhunter Chronicles), Implied/Referenced Character Death, Insecure Magnus Bane, Light Angst, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Malec, Malec Angst, Malec fight, No Backstory, One Shot, Short One Shot, True Love, malec one shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-05-16 22:22:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14819999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mindovermatter/pseuds/Mindovermatter
Summary: Alec and Magnus have had a fight but neither of them know what it had really been about or why it had escalated so quickly. Magnus tries to push Alec away due to his fear of loving someone and then seeing them walk out of his life or be taken away from him. He is trying to avoid the heartache and because he knows what it feels like, he knows he wouldn't survive it this time. He loves Alec more than anything after all. Magnus gets frustrated, more with himself than Alec. He tells Alec to leave, but he refuses. Alec wants to talk, find out the real reason Magnus is acting this way.





	Stay

“Why are you still here? I thought I told you to leave”, Magnus said aggressively, his frustration gleaming through. As hostile as he sounded, a hint of regret could be heard in his voice.

“Because I’m not ready to give up on us. Because I know that even if I go now, I will come back. So, go ahead, try to push me away, I won’t go”, Alec said assuredly.

“I don’t think you realize how complicated all this is”, Magnus said under his voice.

“Our love has always been complicated but we have made it here anyway. I know that we're strong enough to take it. Everything that comes our way. We’ll figure out a way to make it work, we always do.” Alec said, as he was trying to convince Magnus of the fact that this was not just going to go away.

“But”, Magnus mumbled as he was looking at his feet instead of Alec. He didn't know if he could face him and let him in on his biggest fears - well fear. He didn't know what to do or how to fix the situation - if he even could.

Magnus looked up at Alec, debating whether or not he should open his mouth and speak up. But as he saw the real and genuine care and love in his eyes, as he knew he'd never be the one to break his heart, he decided that the risk of him not understating, was worth it.

“It is so much easier for you”, Magnus said doubtful of where he was going and at where he would stop.

“What do you mean?” Alec asked unsurely - not yet understating the point Magnus was making.

“You won’t have to live without me, but some day I will have to live without you”, Magnus said like it was the hardest thing he had ever had to say - like the words were poison on his lips. The thought felt like a nightmare he couldn't escape from.

“Oh. Is that what this is all about? You’re trying to end it now because you’re afraid of what will happen if you don’t? When it’s not up to you if it ends or not?” Alec said with sadness and compassion in his voice - not placing any blame on him or accusing him of anything.

“If you were in my shoes you would understand. In these past hundreds of years that I have lived, I have had to lose everyone I have ever loved. It has broken me every time”, Magnus said with clarity but not volume. He felt too vulnerable to act like it did not kill him to go through this - possibly someday with Alec.

“My love for you, losing you, that would destroy me beyond compare. I wouldn’t survive that”, Magnus said gazing at Alec, truly terrified. This is the first time he has allowed himself to say anything of the sort, out loud.

“Magnus, I understand that. I understand that you’re scared but I also know that this isn’t a better way. Losing me now wouldn’t solve anything. If you make me go now, you will always regret giving up on us so fast. Not giving this the chance it deserves”, Alec said determined to make Magnus understand that he was here to stay.

Magnus realized that Alec was right. This wouldn’t hurt any less. He would just make it worse. He wouldn't want to shoot himself in the foot and be the reason, for not only his own pain, but Alec's too.

“I just, I can’t stop thinking about how this is going to end. I can’t help but picture you gone”, Magnus said, still terrified of losing Alec. He couldn't get rid of the fear that had settled in on him. The piercing pain in his heart and soul, that came from the the very real possibility, that someday he'd have to live in a world in which Alec didn't exist.

“We’ll figure out a way. I know we will conquer this and I think deep down you know that too. You don’t really want me to walk out of that door, do you?” Alec asked, trying his best to let Magnus know how sure he was of him, of them. Always.

Magnus looked away in shame and regret. His heart was breaking in his chest as he never wanted to make Alec feel like he didn't believe in them too, like he didn't think Alec was worth it. But some how, he felt like that was excatly what he had done.

“But I’ll give you time to think this through, figure it all out, if that’s what you want.” Alec said, knowing that he had gotten through to him.

“I can go", Alec said while looking at Magnus intently, hoping he wouldn't let him go. Hoping he'd stop him and show him that this was far from over.

Alec started to slowly walk away from Magnus, but then he grabbed Alec by his hand tighly and whispered “ _Stay_."


End file.
